Over the counter drugs makes brain think too much...

ya know, I've come to the conclusion that it's not as easy as some writers make to write about your life, the good and bad bits. I'm trying to get some thoughts together with this story I want to start, most of it based on things that I've experienced (the good and bad bits) and I find myself trying to avoid it, even though it's going to be the bulk of the tale, I find myself trying to talk myself out of writing it, I think that's why I've felt blocked. Not wanting to go back to those scenes, those images of things that I've either done or had done to me, or things that I've seen or heard, or had to go through unwillingly, things I've ran from, things I've dove headfirst into without thinking of the consequences. Things I've simply tried to forget over the years.

It's fucked up, really.

You'd think 'well, it's just memories, not much to it' and sure, you'd be right in some respects, but sometimes there are things that you just don't want to deal with, things you know (now) that you shouldn't have done, or maybe should have and you didn't. And there's the pains of regret, of what you did or didn't do, should have done, shouldn't have.

I have a ton of that shit on my plate.

Gotta figure out a way to get past it and get it down on the page. Get it out and over with, doesn't really help that I'm on minor Smoker's Lung medication and cheap pain pills.

More later when the caffeine finally kicks in.