NFT will be a little late…

So, um, I woke up this morning dressed in my Ninja outfit that I thought I’d lost during my move into my fabulous hidden mountain compound last summer and there was a framed painting of Oprah laying on a feathered bed super glued to my ceiling. A guy dressed like a Jedi is sitting on my futon couch in the living room waving his lightsaber around, a ballerina is making eggs over easy with toast and juice, there’s cotton balls everywhere and my cats are no where to be found. There’s a makeshift rope made from toilet paper hanging from my radiator and out through the bedroom window (That’s why it was so damned cold when I woke up!). Something happened last night. All I remember is getting a taste for wine and talking myself into going to the liquor store for “just a little nip of the good old merlot”. The Korean woman behind the counter said something Korean to me after I gave her my credit card and here I am.
Now, I know I said I was done drinking but sometimes people get weak…Yes, I fell to a little weakness but I still can’t figure out where the Jedi came from, or the ballerina. Those damn cats of mine know something, but I’m gonna have to wait until they come back before I get some straight answers. The ballerina only speaks Russian and the Jedi keeps talking in that damn Yoda dialect (ooh, big word); I have no idea what he’s saying right now. I’m glad I found my Ninja outfit though. Guess I’ll make some coffee, everything makes sense after coffee.
SHIT!! I haven’t even begun working on the next issue of Needles for Teeth yet, that’s why I wanted the wine in the first place…I work better loaded for some reason…My Ninja outfit is really smooth, is this velvet? A Ninja only wears the best fabric.