damn it all to hell!

Shit! This post was going to be about my growing addiction to Amazon.com, but last night I made a big mistake in the initial printing of the new issue of NFT and now I have to fix it, and I've already ruined a batch of issues because of said mistake (30 to be exact), and ink is gone and I'm almost out of paper! Grrrr! I was going to take today off from the evil cosmodemonic day job to finish all of my stapling and junk but now I need a quick print job done, which means I have to show up at the evil cosmodemonic day job, Bummer!! This also means that NFT is going to be late, by about a day, I think. So look for it on Sunday, maybe, I could get lucky between now and saturday.

And yes, I'm growing addicted to amazon.com, and netflix, and Overcompensating (to the right). Damn innernets. There goes my weekend.

This can't be right...Something. Is. Happenning.

I've been at the evil asylum, the place where sanity vanishes, the house for the damned, the anger station, (or what most people call it) the day job, for about an hour and a half now, and I'm already bored with the innerwebnets. Something is terribly wrong. I'm not usually bored until at least 3 or 4 pm.

I'll have to look into this, I'm not ready to go back to reading books at my desk, but then again, A Scanner Darkly is online; I could read that and get weird and trippy while sipping free rocket fueled coffee at my liesure. Maybe I'll do that. I'll return after my second personality seeps in and makes an apperance. Ah, Substance D...

Confessions at Cooley High

I'm not original in the least, this is true. I've come to accept my theft of image and attitude. Yes dear readers it's too true: I've stolen everything I know from this great coming of age film. Check it out if you can find it in the DVD shops. Or if you're lazy like me you can buy it here.

The guy on the left in the coat and tie, his name is Preach, my favorite film character of all time, really. I first caught this film on TV when I was 5 or 6, so we're talking 1975 or 76. The film was released in 73', right after American Graffiti which at the time everyone was calling the greatest coming of age flick, well, I have to disagree. It was dull then and today it's still dull. How could an inner city black kid relate to that?? When Cooley High was released I remember my sisters (who were way older than me, and still are , Hahhah!) going crazy for it. Cooley High was the first black coming of age film. Thanks really to Gordon Parks, Ossie Davis and The Great Melvin Van Peebles for really paving the way for black films. Sweet Sweetbacks Baaadassss song came out 2 years prior to this one, if it wasn't for MVP there may not have been a Cooley High, or Shaft (originally written for a white man), Coffey Brown, The Mack, Billy Dee Williams or Samual L. Jackson. Cooley High really made me think about life, and also made me ball like a baby at such a young age at the end of the film. Even to this day I can't watch the whole film due to tearing up when a pivotal moment comes, the sadness can rip you apart and break your heart more so than any film coming out today. (and that's only because the idea of sentiment and compassion has been driven away from most films, at lest most films coming out of America, unless is and indie though I will admit.

So as a child I got into the idea of being a writer from this film, the idea of wearing suits came from this and chasing skirts with reckless abandon. I'm an image thief sure, but it's better than aping some dullard like 50 Cent or Martin Lawrence, or Will Smith for that matter.

One of the strongest points in the film for me is the fact that it's filmed in Chicago, the ol' hometown, so whenever I'm feeling a little homesick I can throw this in the machine and roam around with these cats for a little while and feel okay about things. And right now that's all right with me. Chicago isn't the same as it used to be, I've noticed this on my last venture out there. It's become sick I think, saturated with glitz and yuppie wealth and fear. Going back to some of the old neighborhoods is like taking a stroll through Lodo (downtown Denver, horrible place) full of ugly people doing ugly things.

Cooley High also told me that eventually I was going to leave Chicago, at the time I really didn't know that but I knew that I wouldn't be there forever. So I left 20 years later, and here I am, still reflecting on a film that taught me about growing up before I was decade old.

Thanks Preach.

Work in Progress or something to that effect

It's funny how you can discover how to do something different without thinking about it too much. I've been working on a couple of story ideas lately and coming up busto on the process of how to write these stories in a more intriguing way; something other than the norm ya see.

I like the idea of the book House of Leaves, creeped my shit right out but very well done in its execution and makes you pay attention to your surroundings, in the story itself and within your own home (after a while I had the lights on when I read it). What I think I'm trying to do is expand the idea of stream of consciousness writing by using the old school Kerouac theory of "first thought=best thought". I've never done this before, it was sort of forbidden when I was in college. My prof would tell us that "even though Kerouac was a cool writer that whole theory was bull, he did rewrite and edit".

And sure, that's true, but it's the theory alone that makes me entertain the thought of no edits, going with the idea of not telling a straight narrative, writing as if you're really in the narrators' head, using the voice of the mind in the unconventional manner of how people think, or at least how I think, which is probably more staccato than linear. Jerking here and there, easily distracted by anyone or anything that becomes of interest. I also plan on doing this under the influence. That may be a bad idea though. I used to date this chick who wrote a novel while stoned. She'd smoke a joint and write, then the next night write straight. Eventually she would go back and rewrite, not satisfied with what she'd produced. "It's just not coming out right." she'd say. I read some of it and found it interesting. I could tell in part where she was straight when writing and when she wasn't. The chapters written while stoned were much better, more loose and risk taking, her voice was more involved, more dominant. Those pages were what she would rewrite and in turn ruin what she had by being too concerned with traditional story telling and what the "readers out there" would perceive. This is where I think I can pull it off; the concern for acceptance by the masses is passe' for me. I think it's best to do what you want to do and not worry about the reception. I know a couple of people who claim to be writers but are very much into the adulation from people who they call "fans". Bah, waste of my damn time.

I think I've begun my new process and didn't know it with the last issue of Needles for Teeth. I have a story there called Blue Train; I didn't think too much about it at the time I was working on it, just remembering and writing it the way I remembered it. Sure there were little influences involved, but it was mostly memory that spurred me. So I'm continuing this idea, this process, trying to turn it into something bigger, hopefully I'll be satisfied at the end of it, or at the very least, except it as an experiment of (un)conscious thought procession in theory of word usage to express narrative communication, while intoxicated. Yeah, I'm so fuckin Beat. Now I need to smoke cigs and drink coffee.

Short updates

So many things in plan, so much to do. I’ve been busy over the last couple of weeks getting ready for the “zine fest” which I’d rather call an indie publishers convention, the word zine still bothers me. I’m also in the beginning stages of a massive multi part story based slightly on Wuxia novels from China. This may last me until the end of the year if I do it right. I’m looking at the possibilities of a novella coming out of this, we’ll see I guess.
Also in the works is a gallery show for the photographers from the last few issues of NFT. Of course I have to find a gallery that I think is worthy, and get my photogs to get their work together (harder than it sounds) and then the fun begins. Hopefully I’ll be able to pull this off for some time in the spring.

I did find out yesterday that I’m officially a home owner. The mortgage is paid off on my house in Chicago and the deed is now in my and my mothers’ name. Now no matter what, if I have to skip town until some drama cools off, I have a place to go. Luckily no one knows where the house is. I’m good at secrets like that.

I also got a cryptic email from my brother and his wife the other day. I think they’re going to try and find me. I’ll have to refortify the apartment just in case.

More later.