The hell you mean I have Snakes?

Sitting around bloated right now after having lunch at goddamn Wendy’s, this kid I know staggers into my office wearing some shit faced grin on his pocked marked face. I expect the worse and grab my trusty letter opener just incase I need to gut this chump; never fuck with a guy whose bloated, pissed off about it, and holding a sharp letter opener at the ready.

The kid says to me: Hey man, I just got some information that I think you’ll get a laugh out of.
Me: The hell you talkin’ bout law boy, you do see my sharp letter opener at the ready to cut some fools’ neck right?
The Kid: Sure man, sure. Are you all right?
Me: I went to Wendy’s for lunch today, state your business or get the hell out, I have Deadwood DVD’s to watch.
The Kid: You watch Deadwood while you’re at work?
Me: State your business, or I’m cuttin’ some cocksucker throat!
The Kid: Okay man, listen, I’m on the innernets today right? And I check out this thing on Snakes on a Plane, I find out that Sam Jackson’s’ character’s last name is Flynn, and his partner in the FBI, his name is Sean, what do you think of that, funny huh?
Me: Get the hell out of here, I hate snakes and there are DVD’s to watch, away with you!

The kid leaves, still holding that damn grin.

Now I have no choice, but to go see Snakes on a motherfuckin’ Plane.

Typical, I was gonna Netflix it, but how many times can you see a brotha on the big screen with the name Flynn? NONE! That I know of at least. Closest I’ve seen so far of my full name being on anything cool was the unaired pilot episode of Global Frequency (Don’t ask me how I saw it), and the guy lived at the end, gave me about 2% of hope for anything, but that’s about it though.

Still fucking bloated, and some fucker drank all the damn coffee.

I need sexy nurses, about 5 of them…and a banjo.